sooper-annoying syndrome

for the past 15 years or so, i have had a central nervous system disorder that causes physiological pain and cognitive impairments as well as neuro-psychological symptomatology. it affects me in different ways – physically and mentally – at different times. usually it’s not debilitating, but sometimes it is.

right now it is.

i’m currently in the middle of a horrible bout of “impaired concentration, short-term memory consolidation issues, impaired speed of performance, difficulty multi-tasking, cognitive overload, and diminished attention span”. it’s been going on for just over a week now.

to compound the problem, my anxiety is on the rise because i have shit to do… but i’m struggling to do even things that should be simple. my brain is going a million miles a second and i can’t slow it down long enough to focus to any end. i can’t even sit down and watch a half-hour television show ffs. it’s even kinda tough just writing this…

defensive caterpillar

don’t get me wrong – i’m not in a bad/dark place in my head right now – it’s just kind of like an intermittant short circuit that dulls my thinking process, making me horribly distracted and forgetful and spacey. i think this is what being “not smart” would feel like. it would be ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING if i didn’t recognise it for what it is, or if i didn’t know that it was only temporary… but i do, and it is. so far anyway.

so yeah, i have a broken frickin’ brain. this isn’t the first time, and it’ll probably not be the last time, but it sure does suck big giant donkey balls in the meantime.

4 thoughts on “sooper-annoying syndrome

  1. Sorry you’re having this now when you’ve got shit to do. Good news is, you don’t perform brain surgery or collect state secrets for a living, so hopefully all will be well until your brain chooses to cooperate. Kisses!

  2. thank you auntie. i think i might be near the end of this one.

    i don’t check my blood sugar but only because i don’t have a blood sugar testing kit (i used to play with grandma’s though… for science). it DOES seem to want to suddenly drop every once in a while, but i know what that feels like so i just go grab a spoonful of peanut butter or some juice or something. that being said, i’m exercising regularly and taking multi vitamins/minerals and some supplements, and my diet is surprisingly good, and i think it’s been a couple of months now since my blood sugar has taken a noticeable dive.

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