the first time i killed a man

i remember it vividly. there was a cop-killer on the loose and dad and i were in the back yard. i looked over at the east side of the property and saw a large man had scaled the 8′ security fence and jumped down inside the perimeter.

“DAD! There he is! Shoot him!”

my dad took a couple of shots at the guy and missed.
this is when i knew for sure that it was a dream. he wouldn’t have missed in real life. 

i grabbed the 10mm from out of dad’s hand and ran into the house through one door as the cop-killer ran into the house through another. we both stopped for a split second at opposite ends of the 20′ hallway. we made eye contact… and then he charged me.

i raised the pistol and fired 7 or 8 rounds into the guy as he was running towards me. he had made it almost all the way to my end of the hallway before he finally fell down at my feet, dead. …and then i woke up.

my first thought wasn’t “oh dear that was a strange dream” or “holy crap i just killed a guy”… you know, like a NORMAL person might’ve had. no, see, MY first thought was, “WHY WAS THERE NO RECOIL???”

when i told my dad about my dream and my first though upon waking, he explained that, when your adrenaline is that high (in a kill or be killed sitch, that is), you don’t notice the recoil because it’s basically an unnecessary distraction from the task at hand, which is survival.

so now my questions is…. how the fuck did MY subconscious know that?

quick bonus story – one time a friend of mine killed someone we both knew, and i helped her hide the body in a cypress stump in the swamp. also a dream… as far as you know.

coming soon – the second time i killed a man.

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