SOMEONE who shall [not] remain nameless *coughcoughmandycough* thinks it’s funny that i was in my 20’s before i realised that i’d been spelling “vacuum” wrong, and it still comes up every once in a while… but see, i don’t care. i’ve decided that i don’t accept THAT spelling with THAT pronunciation. it’s either one or the other, folks.

THEREFORE, i’ve decided that, instead of spelling it the way i think it should be spelled (as i did for 20 years), i’m going to now start pronouncing it as i think it should be pronounced, based on the spelling, i.e. “vacuum” = “vac-you-um”, as in continuum. i feel very strongly that my logic is sound and i’ve no interest in debating it, frankly.

also, while i’m being an asshole on my highhorse about stuff:

“spelled” is spelled “spelled”, not “spelt”. unless you’re british or australian, or discussing a variety of wheat.

and it’s “cancelled”, not “canceled”.

and it’s spelled “jewellery” in my world, the correct world, not “jewelry”.

the thing you pull out of your dresser is a “drawer”, not a “draw”.

it’s betty BOOP, not betty boo.

AND THE OXFORD COMMA IS VALID AND NECESSARY!!

…and then there are things that just completely do my head in:

i could go on, but i’m not gonna.

hmmph.

…

actually i’m just kidding. i don’t even give a shit anymore about spelling, really – except about the voilà thing and for the record, even “voila” is ok with me, just not those other horseshit spellings – and because i grew up speaking one english language and now i work in a completely different english language, i’m not sure i spell (or conjugate) anything correctly anymore  – am i meant to use a Z or an S? is there a random U in that word? did we eat or did we et? where the hell am i?

having said all of that, i am originally from rural, agricultural, north central florida and i will always say ya’ll, so bite me.